10 things I’ve learned from teenage heartbreak

1) It feels like your world is crashing down. I get it. And you know what, give yourself that moment. Feel it. One of the most important parts of your life probably just walked out on you, or you walked out on them. Either way, it sucks

2) You will purposefully play sad music to make yourself cry. I’m not sure why we, as humans, chase that good cry. Maybe the act of crying is a good release for us. Turn our emotional pain into something physical. Or maybe we just want to hear Taylor Swift sing the lyrics that fit our own personal scenarios or heartbreak to a T. Maybe you just want to feel sad and cry it out. Either way I’m all for it. I think it helps. I can’t tell you how many times I put on Taylor Swift’s “Back to December” or Rascal Flatt’s “Here Comes Goodbye”. Or my favorite “A Year from Now” by Across Five Aprils. Holy throwback

3) You may over eat, you may not eat. You may stuff your face with chips and dip or food may repulse you. You may lay in bed or on the couch for days, watching love stories such as The Notebook, Never Been Kissed, A Walk to Remember or Garden State and bask in your tears. It’s okay to do this. Some days you will wake up and the first you’ll do is cry. For some reason, it hits you more in the morning. When you wake up and for that one brief moment – you forgot about it all. Until it hits you again, like a ton of bricks

4) But at some point, you’ve got to get out of bed. Face the day. Face your emotions. Face your new life and your potential loneliness. Know that you’re stronger than you think you are, although at that moment you feel as if if you couldn’t stand to take one more blow. Give yourself more credit than you are

5) There will come a morning when you’ll wake up, and say “I’m okay”. You’re going to be okay without that person. Believe it or not, that cheesy “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” phrase that everyone likes to tell you after a break up in hopes to give you a glimpse of hope is actually true. You’ll start flirting again, talking to others and eventually land yourself in another relationship

6) You will learn a lot about what you do and do not want in a relationship. You will set higher standards and make statements like “I refuse to date someone who is lazy again”. You will put new qualities on your “must have” list. How do you know what you want in a relationship, if you don’t have any failed ones? It’s part of the game

7) You will go through a period where you trust no one. If you get cheated on, like I have been, you will feel as if you will never trust a soul again. I’m here to tell you that one day, you will learn to trust again. And you will trust another whole heartedly. It comes full circle, so just hang on

8) You will learn a lot about yourself. You will learn that you are stronger than you thought. You will learn that you are deserving of a great relationship. You will learn that truthfully, you don’t need anyone. You will learn that you’re more independent than you thought. A heartbreak will teach you much more than you think. And you may not see it right away, but you will in the future

9) You may form a good relationship with your ex. And that is an amazing thing. It doesn’t happen often, but once in a while – your ex will become a good, life lasting friend. Right now it might be hard to see that day in your future but it may just happen. You go through such a large part of your life with that person, and shared something with them that others don’t understand. It’s a really cool thing when a friendship blossoms out of an old flame

10) Smile. You’ll be okay. Pick up your boot straps and carry on. Life wouldn’t be life without setbacks and heartache. You’ll get through it. Humans are resilient. It isn’t the end of the world darling – it’s only the beginning

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